tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21551129522039570692024-03-13T18:07:41.148-07:00Movie Reviews for the Geek in YouMovie Reviews for Geeks by a Geek. Be you Computer Nerd, Bibliophile, or Movie Fanatic here are reviews that apply to you.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-56271188344106160132010-08-08T21:35:00.000-07:002010-08-08T22:04:40.204-07:00Trailer PostI know I haven't posted in ages so I apologize to my, uh, 6 followers. My excuses include stress, forgetfulness, and a boil. Yeah, I had a boil. I'll spare you all the pictures. Anyway, I've got reviews coming soon, I just have to organize my thoughts in order to properly portray how Awesomely Epic <span style="font-style: italic;">Scott Pilgrim</span> is. Until then, please enjoy these trailers.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="292"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25448"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25448" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="292" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Directed by Tory Nixey but presented by Guillermo Del Toro who is one of the few directors that can actually scare me, and this trailer scared me. This is the type of horror movie we lost during the emergence of Slasher flicks. That slow, creepy horror that makes you jump at shadows and hesitate about going to bed. A remake of a 1973 film of the same name and one I'm definitely not seeing alone.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="237"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25137"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25137" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="237" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Do I know what just happened? No. Do I care? Hell no. Just from the trailer alone, director Zack Snyder is my new hero. Look, he just mixed school girls with Katanas in with dragons, air ships, and lingerie. Can we say Geek wet dream?<br /><br /><object width="450" height="235"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25136"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/25136" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="235" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Here we have the American remake of the brilliant <span style="font-style: italic;">Let the Right One In</span> and I'm hesitant. Yes, it has Chloe Mortez who played Hit Girl in the violently awesome <span style="font-style: italic;">Kick-Ass</span>. Yes, the trailer does look good. But how often does a remake of a brilliant foreign film go well? And <span style="font-style: italic;">Let the Right One In</span> was brilliantly creepy and beautiful. I put it down as my favorite Vampire film to date and I'm a fan of the fangs. My biggest worry is their going go Hollwoodize the ending which we all know is shit.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="242"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24857"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24857" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="242" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Okay, first off, check out that line up. Morgan Freeman (a.k.a. God), John Malkovich (who is freaking John Malkovich), Helen Mirren (a.k.a. The Queen), Karl Urban (Dr. "Bones" McCoy), and Bruce Willis (who is so cool the Laws of Physics bend for him, as is proven with this movie). Second, do you need a second? Look at that line up!<br /><br /><object width="450" height="239"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23998"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23998" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="239" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Unapologetic gratuitous violence at its best. This is the kind of movie where I honestly don't care about the plot that much. As long as someone gets a stapler in the ass I'll be happy.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24919"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24919" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="295" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />I've already preached about this one before, go look up that blog for my praise. All I have to add is this: Lindsay Lohan plays a Nun with a machine gun. That is all.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24936"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/24936" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="295" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />I'm ending with this trailer for a very good reason: I'm hoping it will become the future of movies. They edited this movie as they shot it and they shot it on location with real people and not hired stand ins. It's simple, beautiful, and doesn't rely on anything other than its own grit and determination. The honest movie, it's a lost art form.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-29776757409146795882010-06-23T22:21:00.001-07:002010-06-23T22:27:34.614-07:00Adrien Brody can kick your ass<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8QWbgA5E6QU&color1=0x6699&color2=0x54abd6&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8QWbgA5E6QU&color1=0x6699&color2=0x54abd6&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="385" width="640"></embed></object><br /><br />The International Trailer for <span style="font-style: italic;">Predators</span> came out and it looks good. Scary good. After the AVP disaster and the better but block office bust AVP: Requiem it's nice to see the Predator species back in action. Geeze, would you look at that cast? Brody won an Oscar for crap's sake and Fishburne is a Shakespearean trained thespian. I would have just watched for Danny Trejo who I'm pretty sure really does kill people in hi spare time. I kid, I'm sure he's a wonderful human being and I'm not just saying that because he terrifies me.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-86591401998598700582010-06-21T09:39:00.000-07:002010-06-21T09:49:22.913-07:00Mini-Reviews written just for youI’ve been slacking on reviews lately, obsessing over finishing the next draft of my book. So, I thought I’d do a few mini-movie reviews on what I’ve seen lately. As an added bonus, I’ve attached a few trailer reviews of things that are coming out or are out but I haven’t bothered to watch yet. Onward we go!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Whiteout</span>. My biggest complaint about this movie is how un-cold it feels. Seriously, it’s set in Antarctica where cold is rated in how far your external genitalia has retreated into your body, and I never once felt an empathetic shiver. The arctic base comes off as a nice winter getaway complete with randomly placed orchids. Second big gripe, the start of the movie has the lusty Beckinsale peeling down to her skivvies and then a steamy shower scene, giving all red blooded males hope. Through the rest of the movie she wears full arctic gear and oversized sweaters. That first scene, totally pointless. It was just there to entice us to sit through the rest of the hole ridden plot. Which leads me into gripe number three: the plot. It had potential, real potential but no, it’s based on compound idiocy. The thing people have been getting killed over are diamonds. It could have been anything, radioactive Woolly Mammoth fetuses, a Zombie virus, the Vodka of the Gods, anything and they choose diamonds. Don’t even get me started on the horrid flashbacks to Beckinsale’s torrid past. They were on par with Rain’s back story in <span style="font-style: italic;">Ninja Assassin</span>, that’s how tedious they were.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Good, The Bad, and The Weird</span>. I hear angels play banjo’s whenever this movie is mentioned. It was brilliant. Even if you’re not a fan of Spaghetti Westerns this is one to buy popcorn for, even at the outrageous prices they sell it for. The Good is Woo-Sung Jung, a bounty hunter you expect spends his spare time drinking and playing cards with Boba Fett, Capt. Mal Reynolds and Spike Spiegel. That is just how cool he is. Not to mention freaking adorable and the only person I’ve ever seen able to pull off a dandy mustache with such manly panache. The Bad is Byung-Hun Lee, badest of the bad and he does it all with Emo hair. He’s the kinda of guy that hangs around on open-mic poetry night and then shoots everyone. Finally, The Weird is Kang-Ho Song from the equally brilliant The Host. He’s the guy you seen running around in a diver’s helmet in the trailer. This one is destined for my movie trunk and yes, I have a trunk full of movies. That’s just how I roll.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Crazies</span>. Let me just say that I like looking at Timothy Olyphant. He’s easy on the eyes and not just another shallow Hollywood pretty boy. Now that’s out of the way, this movie started out really good then degraded pretty fast into a cliché zombie flick. The biggest issue I had was with the “crazies” themselves. They were so inconsistent and poorly explained. They were caused by a huge ass military plane crashing into a river and the toxin it carried got into the water of the small town. We’re supposed to believe that no one saw this happen. Even in the middle of rural America this is damn near impossible. We’re talking about a country that puts churches fifty miles from the closest residence (I’m assuming in case you’re being chased by vampires). This movie also hardened my belief that the military’s greatest weakness is a bunch of drunk rednecks in a pickup truck. Really guys? This just proves that if Texas ever decides to succeed we should just let them. This movie did, however, give me an irrational fear of car washes. I haven’t cringed in my seat like that for a long time.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">X-Men Origins: Wolverine</span>. After watching this movie the following is recommended: 1. Find a wall. 2. Apply head liberally until consciousness is lost. 3. Regain consciousness. 4. Repeat. Ignoring the laughable CG claws and the totally defilement of Dead Pool there is nothing of interest in this movie. The plot is weak, the scripting is poor, the action lagging, and you spend half the time wondering why you wasted your money on this crap. When they decided to tell of Wolverine’s origins it was a huge deal for comic fans. I’m sorry, that needs to be rephrased. Ahem,<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">IT WAS A GARGUANTAN FUCKING DEAL</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">!!!!!</span> Have a little respect for the source material. Screwing up the Phoenix Saga was one thing but this is the most beloved bastard of all time. Beloved even though he wears yellow spandex, that’s like liking someone from Jersey Shore or The Hills for their insight. Best line of the movie: Striker shows up and says to Logan, “You haven’t aged a day.” Uh, it’s been like 7 YEARS! Neither have you, douchebag.<br /><br />Alright, let’s get to some trailers.<br /><br /><object height="292" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23378"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23378" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="292" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />The Apocalypse is coming and it will turn all of our monuments blue. Little else to say other than, "FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU"<br /><br /><object height="239" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22974"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22974" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="239" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen on the silver screen together. There isn't enough sarcasm to put into the word, "Yay," for this situation. I expect this will be a horrible chimera of <span style="font-style: italic;">Heat</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Oceans 11</span>. And it is not going to be pretty.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="239"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22983"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22983" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="239" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Excuse me, I have to spin in a circle while squee-ing. Be back in ten.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-40098271908171379942010-06-17T22:17:00.000-07:002010-06-17T22:19:04.041-07:00If nothing else it will have an epic soundtrack<object width="450" height="303"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23389"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/23389" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="303" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Tired of Scott Pilgrim yet? Yeah, neither am I. And yes that was Superman as number 3 and The Human Torch as uh, 5 I think. Ramona Flowers got around.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-9240792699886974622010-06-14T21:11:00.000-07:002010-06-14T21:14:30.457-07:00Are you paying attention Hollywood?<span style="font-style: italic;">Samurai.</span> A no budget movie shot shot with a cast of five volunteers against a white background. That's right. All the backgrounds were done on the computer and it was made with no money. I mean, the guy probably bought the beer and pizza but that's it. $0 BUDGET! Are you listening? No money and this thing looks a hundred times better than half the trailers out there.<br /><br /><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=11450291&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ffffff&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=11450291&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ffffff&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11450291">SAMURAI</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3735522">Jerry O'Flaherty</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-85197374363751914852010-06-07T08:55:00.000-07:002010-06-07T08:56:11.145-07:00What Just Happened?<object width="650" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://ictv-tf-ec.indieclicktv.com/player/embed/97b1fda2ca43d6c29eaf63ed1ec347c6/4c02c42bc20b4/31/0/defaultPlayer-player.swf"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://ictv-tf-ec.indieclicktv.com/player/embed/97b1fda2ca43d6c29eaf63ed1ec347c6/4c02c42bc20b4/31/0/defaultPlayer-player.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="650" height="390"></embed></object><br /><br />Did I really just see this or did someone slip something into my coffee?R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-69528917651117595432010-06-01T19:18:00.000-07:002010-06-01T19:22:11.528-07:00Michael Cera can kick your assIt's up at last! The new trailer for <span style="font-style: italic;">Scott Pilgrim vs. The World</span> and it is awesome. I mean "awesome" in its original meaning when it still meant "awe-inspiring." Just watch and you'll see what I mean.<br /><br /><object width="450" height="292"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22670"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/22670" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="292" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />See? Isn't it breathtaking?R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-66417757591834341782010-05-29T20:02:00.000-07:002010-05-29T20:04:20.555-07:00Best use of elvator music ever<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a6GEEi67atc&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a6GEEi67atc&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Awesome little short film courtesy of <a href="http://theawesomer.com">The Awesomer</a>.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-53253223587472317142010-05-12T01:36:00.000-07:002010-05-12T01:40:01.052-07:00Totally UnrelatedAnd by totally unrelated I mean totally, completely, legally binding unrelated. Sense: this trailer makes none. Watch. Just watch. Don't think otherwise you might kill yourself. <br /><br /><object width="450" height="309"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/12049"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/12049" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="309" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />Yeah. See what I mean? Armpit swords. Ass swords. Boob guns. Saws in...faces. Did that building just bleed?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-59039995849485854102010-05-12T01:04:00.000-07:002010-05-12T01:17:16.463-07:00That Fantstic News I PromisedHere it is.<br />So J.J. Abrams new movie, <span style="font-style: italic;">Super 8,</span> will not be a <span style="font-style: italic;">Cloverfield</span> prequel or sequel and won't be filmed by a hand held camera. Thank Cthulhu for that. Anyway, a bootleg trailer was "leaked" not long ago. The official one was just released.<br /><br /><object height="241" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21922"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21922" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="241" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />It's already gone viral and here is what you have to do. It's all <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/05/07/jj-abrams-super-8-viral-begins/">here </a>if you feel lazy though. At the end, see those letters flash by? Okay, slow down the film, blow them up and read what they spell. Add ".com" to the end and you have the website you need to go to. Try to print everything. See the message you get? Still with me? Alright, now read through all that green, PDP-11 16-bit microcomputer text. Find a name. Cross-reference it with Area 51. Still following? Good, cause I have no idea what you do next. Go YouTube it, I'm sure someone out there has blown up every last little, grainy image for you to scrutinize.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Super 8</span> isn't due till 2011 so you can take your time forming your conspiracy theories. As near as I can tell from the trailer drunk rednecks in pickup trucks are the worst threat to the military in existence.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-89122088172472948062010-05-11T19:30:00.000-07:002010-05-11T20:15:15.584-07:00Fantastic News......will not be made in this post. In a future post for sure, once I figure out just what the hell it is that J.J. Abrams is planning. For now, let me give you some horrible news. All in the form of a long ass, shitty as hell trailer post. These are all movies coming out soon that you will want to avoid like the plague. Even the one about the plague.<br /><br /><object height="303" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21473"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21473" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="303" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />They actually spent money on this. Non-imaginary, corporal, can buy things of value money to make this festering turd. This movie may actually destroy NASA's hope for the future. I sure as hell don't want to be an astronaut anymore. Okay, I wasn't going to be an astronaut but I had an elaborate plan to sneak aboard a shuttle and take the International Space Station for a joyride around the moon.<br /><br /><object height="303" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21192"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21192" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="303" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH heheheh BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH heh heh hoo hah hee<br />Why not just have the tag line: Steve Austin, because Jean Claude van Damme is to old.<br /><br /><object height="296" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/19566"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/19566" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />WHAT THE FU-Seriously!? So...now I get to watch dancing douchebags with British Accents in eye bleedin' 3D. This is so daffied I'm even breaking into Cockney just to display my displeasure. Excuse me while I go get elephants.<br /><br /><object height="292" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21498"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21498" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="292" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Well, it has Sean Bean and torture so if that's your sorta thing then have at. Personally, I'd rather flog myself then watch this movie.<br /><br /><object height="227" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/19636"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/19636" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="227" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />This trailer is a minute and a half to long. I can't remember there being an <span style="font-style: italic;">Undisputed I or </span><span style="font-style: italic;">II</span>, and frankly I'm afraid to go Google them. I'd say save your money and watch UFC. The plot will definitely be better.<br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20122"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20122" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Excuse me, I have to go punch myself in the face until the pain goes away. <br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21252"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21252" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />There's only one more movie. There's only one more movie and then it will all be over. Wait..they're turning the last one into a two part-er?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZt87ZBB0-XNuTT1ovwi0K5u32pOvGCMFxRZv63BEfgsdE-4cbD7INvemH6l3KPL2sVVD1STpmQRr9UZyWbO1ooqBd2Bo5B5glrNHzQ-oqkjEFV_Yl5rQZZQc77FlvJuOKb0oDqLkfLcJ2/s1600/fffffuuuuu.PNG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 177px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZt87ZBB0-XNuTT1ovwi0K5u32pOvGCMFxRZv63BEfgsdE-4cbD7INvemH6l3KPL2sVVD1STpmQRr9UZyWbO1ooqBd2Bo5B5glrNHzQ-oqkjEFV_Yl5rQZZQc77FlvJuOKb0oDqLkfLcJ2/s200/fffffuuuuu.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470216552829224034" border="0" /></a>R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-60588654546523744112010-05-01T17:23:00.000-07:002010-05-01T17:25:25.046-07:00Can you name them all?No, not Pokemon. Movies.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1Cc_KMPFxqE&color1=0xd6d6d6&color2=0xf0f0f0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1Cc_KMPFxqE&color1=0xd6d6d6&color2=0xf0f0f0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="385" width="640"></embed></object><br /><br />That's every major movie trailer for this summer compressed into oneR. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-65489803506110575912010-05-01T16:59:00.000-07:002010-05-01T17:02:44.583-07:00Pick a theme and stick to it<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1FcjFKrnePA&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1FcjFKrnePA&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Family drama, awkward coming of age comedy, horrific horror, or supernatural thriller, pick one. Your movie can't be all four. And, for the love of vodka, can you please find some music that isn't public domain crap?R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-48062106773685858242010-04-30T17:19:00.000-07:002010-04-30T18:00:01.199-07:00Friday Mass Trailer PostLet's begin shall we?<br /><br /><object height="239" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21491"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21491" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="239" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Well, I'm glad they got all the major plot points out of the way. Now we won't have to bother with such trivial things such as character development and plot arcs. From what the trailer fairies tell me, this movie will consist of explosions, Megan Fox's sex face, and really unrealistic weapons. Seriously, a TNT crossbow? How aerodynamic are we supposed to believe dynamite is? And wouldn't that horse totally freak out by two gatling guns next to its head?<br /><br />Continuing on...<br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21549"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21549" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Wow, the SyFy Channel is finally getting a good budget. Oh, wait...Okay, when you're so strapped for movie ideas that you're remaking B-rated horror movies oh, wait...So, are they going to do<span style="font-style: italic;"> Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus </span>next? Or <span style="font-style: italic;">Dino Shark</span>? Cause SyFy has a whole warehouse of shitty movies they could remake. They might be only marginally worse than the originals.<br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21345"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21345" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Wow, I didn't think I could start loosing interest in Zombie movies. How many of these does Romero think he can pull off? It's probably going to be better then his last one, <span style="font-style: italic;">Diary of th</span>e <span style="font-style: italic;">Dead.</span> Look, the hand held camera technique barely worked for <span style="font-style: italic;">The Blair Witch</span> and is only ever successful if you're not rooting for the zombies to kill everyone on screen. Let's look at all the places we've put zombies: in a graveyard (that make sense), a mall (oohh, an analogy!), in Sweden (and Nazis!), underwater (this is actually an entire sub-genre), on an island (multiple times in fact), and on a plane (only slightly more scary than snakes). Only place left is space - oh, wait nevermind, it's been done. So the only thing left for zombie movies to do then is to die.<br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21399"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21399" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Okay, f*&# this shit. I need to go buy more Emergency Vodka. An upper decker joke, really? That's the best you could do? Are you guys even trying an more?<br /><br />I need a plate cleanser.<br /><br /><object height="242" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21279"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/21279" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="242" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Not sure if M. Night Shyamalan-na-an was the best director choice but it looks good. I just don't hear M. Night Shayamallannn and think epic action flick. I still haven't forgiven him for <span style="font-style: italic;">The Happening.</span><br /><br />That's all for now. I'm off to console myself with chocolate and cheap booze. Oh, booze. You're the only one that understands me.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-4791628687398552162010-04-24T19:09:00.001-07:002010-04-24T19:12:54.365-07:00The Tick is back!And his name is Ace Mulligan. <br /><br /><object width="450" height="235"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20748"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20748" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="235" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />I don't care if this movie consists of nothing but bad one-liners I am going to watch it. Then watch it again, then probably again. I have no life.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-79597456660266897492010-04-21T18:34:00.000-07:002010-04-21T18:38:28.208-07:00Crap, I'm out of Emergency Vodka<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/st6dHmDSkhY"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/st6dHmDSkhY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Well, it can't be worse than the <span style="font-style: italic;">Mortal Kombat</span> movie. It can't, right? Please tell me it can't. At least I can console myself that it can't be worse then <span style="font-style: italic;">Dragonball Evolution.</span> That has to be the only movie in existence that would have been improved the the addition of Krillin.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-76934440723411583742010-04-20T22:56:00.000-07:002010-04-20T23:07:54.977-07:00Where's my Emergency Vodka?So, and this just makes my head hurt, Taylor Lautner, brooding bad boy of <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight</span>, has forgone a <span style="font-style: italic;">Max Steel</span> role for <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/04/20/rob-letterman-to-direct-nicolas-stoller-to-rewrite-stretch-armstrong/">Stretch Armstrong</a>. </span>Yeah, you remember that craptastic toy from your childhood is going to star in his own feature length film. This with the <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/04/07/taylor-kitsch-to-star-in-battleship/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Battleship</span> </a>movie and the once rumored, now official, <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/02/04/from-the-guy-who-wrote-tropic-thunder-comes-candy-land-the-movie/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Candyland</span> </a>movie has officially proven that Hollywood has lost its freaking mind. You'd think they might focus more on making a video game movie that didn't suck three flavors of scrotum, or maybe "re-imagine" yet another horror franchise. Because we all know we don't have enough <span style="font-style: italic;">Freddy, Chucky, </span>or <span style="font-style: italic;">Jason</span> movies. <br /><br />In the words of Peter Griffin, I'm going to go drink until I can't feel feelings anymore.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-35292031887336167512010-04-20T16:30:00.000-07:002010-04-20T16:42:50.898-07:00Mustering up excitement...Mustering...mustering... <br /><br /><object width="450" height="242"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20301"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20301" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="242" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />...and no. No excitement, none at all. Frankly, this just looks like it's going to suck so bad. And by the tentacles of Cthulhu, how many freaking egos did they fit in this movie? Stallone, Swarchenegger, Staham, Li, Austin, Rourke, Lundgren, and Willis. Did I miss anyone? And that voice over, holy shitscicles. Could you be any more cliche! <br />I'm going to go drink until I can taste colors.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-77872847516536019432010-04-20T11:42:00.000-07:002010-04-20T11:50:29.631-07:00Adrien Brody is my new hero<object height="205" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xd0gyj_high-school-trailer_shortfilms"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xd0gyj_high-school-trailer_shortfilms" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="205" width="480"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xd0gyj_high-school-trailer_shortfilms">High School trailer</a></b><br /><i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/blankytwo">blankytwo</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms">Watch feature films and entire TV shows.</a></i><br /><br />First <span style="font-style: italic;">Predators</span>, then <span style="font-style: italic;">Splice</span>, and now <span style="font-style: italic;">High School. </span>Read more about this indie film at <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/04/19/high-school-movie-trailer/">/Film</a> but seriously, Adrien Brody is my new hero. All we need now is for him to team up with Bruce Campbell to star in a Matthew Vaughn film and a wormhole will open up and deposit all of us into Geek Heaven. Where Valkyries serve you Mountain Dew, there is no lag on Halo 3, and for no real reason anyone can name Nathan Filion runs around swinging a <a href="http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/04/nathan_fillion_can_attack_you_with_a_lighsaber_at.php">light saber</a>.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-17351181337221606592010-04-19T19:07:00.000-07:002010-04-19T19:09:37.076-07:00Thank you, YouTube<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3SJM7wrNCrY"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3SJM7wrNCrY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Yep, <span style="font-style: italic;">Evil Dead</span> is now a musical. Or has been, I'm not sure for how long. Nevertheless, once again I am displaying my happiness through interpretative dance.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-82989486283712209802010-04-19T17:48:00.000-07:002010-04-19T17:49:54.555-07:00Who is Salt?<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LbkQTB-OJsk"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LbkQTB-OJsk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object>
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<br />All I know is it goes well with potatoes and butter. Twenty bucks says she keeps that same robot expression the entire movie.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-91014725049035737622010-04-17T20:42:00.001-07:002010-04-17T20:43:44.267-07:00The Glory that is Kick-Ass<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_q0XcbVd5gTAd4W8kPlOsEO7NEg7k5aaH43eeFoAWO_idKGMAYYyVCeJXrtgKyJyy-lbB7_4Ly37S1DVruJD8NhKHIqDoB2Z7mCisjHxU7O2IEgVtslM7SF5zdJcczgGJPd74ElTHKNVv/s1600/kick-ass-movie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 135px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_q0XcbVd5gTAd4W8kPlOsEO7NEg7k5aaH43eeFoAWO_idKGMAYYyVCeJXrtgKyJyy-lbB7_4Ly37S1DVruJD8NhKHIqDoB2Z7mCisjHxU7O2IEgVtslM7SF5zdJcczgGJPd74ElTHKNVv/s200/kick-ass-movie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461318017561147954" border="0" /></a>
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.MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:930119027; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-420712532 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-tab-stop:none; mso-level-number-position:left; margin-left:40.5pt; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Kick-Ass Review</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Resisting the urge to scream, “It Kicked Ass!” Because, truly, it did.<span style=""> </span>There are so many ways this movie could have been screwed up.<span style=""> </span>I have to give major kudos to director Matthew Vaughn for not taking the easy route and producing this movie independently.<span style=""> </span>From what the Internet tells me (all praise the mighty Web of Knowledge) Vaughn turned down major production companies because they wanted him to change too much.<span style=""> </span><i style="">Kick-Ass</i> is utterly perfect they way it is.<span style=""> </span>Any changes would have ruined it.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>That being said, let’s go through all the ways this movie (which is perfect, I’m going to stress that until you hate me) could have been ruined by the “I’m planning a third <i style="">Transformers</i> movie,” big-wigs of Hollywood.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 40.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The Rating: This had to be an R movie.<span style=""> </span>PG-13 simply would not have cut it.<span style=""> </span>It, as Vaughn said in one interview, would have offended the audience base it was aiming for.<span style=""> </span>We of the 90’s violent comic generation enjoy our blood and gore.<span style=""> </span>We like our guns, our bazookas, our butterfly knives, and our overkill (which this movie has plenty of).<span style=""> </span>Humans bleed, we gush fountains of the stuff when we’re shot or stabbed.<span style=""> </span>This is something Hollywood sometimes likes to ignore.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 40.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Teenagers: There is just enough teen awkwardness and angst in this movie.<span style=""> </span>Nicely juxtaposed beside that lovely R-rated gore we so love.<span style=""> </span>Hollywood would have contorted and twisted these scenes, making them an agonizing focal point we’d have to endure.<span style=""> </span>We do not need to be forced to relate to these characters.<span style=""> </span>When they’re written and acted well we do so automatically.<span style=""> </span>By highlighting their shortcomings until we’re nauseous doesn’t make us sympathetic to them, it just makes us hate them.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 40.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The Characters: Hit-Girl, played<span style=""> </span>by the phenomenal Chlo<span style="">ë</span> Grace Moretz, would be horrible.<span style=""> </span>They would have changed her age or made her remorseful, or some other moral crap, and she wouldn’t be Hit-Girl anymore.<span style=""> </span>She’d be another Batgirl and we all remember how well that went down.<span style=""> </span>Kick-Ass would have some secret instead of being the most average superhero ever.<span style=""> </span>Removing the thing that defines him as Kick-Ass.<span style=""> </span>Or they would have cast some cuite on loan from Disney to fill the role so expertly executed by Aaron Johnson.<span style=""> </span>Nicholas Cage’s role as Big Daddy (the first role in a long time in which I didn’t want to cover him in bees) would have been made less insane and I can’t even imagine what bizarre take they would have on Red Mist, played by the wonderfully nerdy Christopher Mintz-Plasse.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 40.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Directing: This is the kind of movie they would have shoved Michael Bay’s way.<span style=""> </span>He would have sqeezed this one out between salivating over the third <i style="">Transformers</i> movie and the “re-imagining” of <i style="">A Nightmare on Elm Street.</i><span style=""> </span>All the action would be painfully rendered CG and somehow he’d manage to shove a pair of robot testicles in there.<span style=""> </span>Matthew Vaughn has respect for the material; you can see the love in every baton hit across the face.<span style=""> </span>The words I have for Bay’s respect for anything can only be properly translated through the dead language of Cthulhu.<span style=""> </span>And then the world would end in a horrific tentacle explosion.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I’m going to end here because, really, nothing quite beats a tentacle explosion.<span style=""> </span>Go see <i style="">Kick-Ass</i>, drag your friends along, bring the dog too.<span style=""> </span>Then buy the DVD and all the merchandise and maybe we can send a message to Hollywood that they don’t have to dumb everything down to their level.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p>
<br />R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-44555569839536335412010-04-17T20:10:00.000-07:002010-04-17T20:15:58.956-07:00Everyone rember this:<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/W8cCzltPD6Y"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/W8cCzltPD6Y" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />It's the fake trailer shown between <span style="font-style: italic;">Planet Terror </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">Deathproof. </span>It's now going to be a full length motion picture to be released in September. Read more about it <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/04/17/machete-gets-sept-3-release-date/">here</a>.<br />The only way to properly portray my excitement about this is through interpretative dance. Which I am doing right now, but you cannot see it. Which is sad because it's an awesome dance.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-25589357053057396582010-04-13T16:14:00.000-07:002010-04-13T16:19:00.628-07:00Predators goes back to its roots<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b_ZKv56HqgE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b_ZKv56HqgE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="385" width="640"></embed></object><br /><br />I've got to admit I was nervous about a new <span style="font-style: italic;">Predators </span>movie. Especially after the horrid amalgamation that <span style="font-style: italic;">AVP</span> was. This has given me hope that it could be really good. Though I'm confused as to what kind of bad-ass killer Topher Grace could possibly be.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155112952203957069.post-54241978936367967302010-04-12T20:22:00.000-07:002010-04-12T20:28:56.336-07:00"Spooky things...anal things..."<object height="237" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20614"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.traileraddict.com/emd/20614" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="237" width="450"></embed></object><br /><br />Fighting against the <span style="font-style: italic;">A-Team</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Expendables </span>are <span style="font-style: italic;">The Losers. </span>My vote is going for this one. It has Uhura, the Comedian, the Human Torch, a guy named Cougar with an awesome hat, the Black McGuyver (BlaGuyver), and then that other guy. Less camp than the <span style="font-style: italic;">A-Team</span> and fewer egos than <span style="font-style: italic;">The Expendables.</span> Also, a much cooler name. <br />I would so have Cougars babies. Just raise a whole army of little snipers. They'd be adorably lethal.R. R. Burchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13175570294601222276noreply@blogger.com0