Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fantastic News...

...will not be made in this post. In a future post for sure, once I figure out just what the hell it is that J.J. Abrams is planning. For now, let me give you some horrible news. All in the form of a long ass, shitty as hell trailer post. These are all movies coming out soon that you will want to avoid like the plague. Even the one about the plague.

They actually spent money on this. Non-imaginary, corporal, can buy things of value money to make this festering turd. This movie may actually destroy NASA's hope for the future. I sure as hell don't want to be an astronaut anymore. Okay, I wasn't going to be an astronaut but I had an elaborate plan to sneak aboard a shuttle and take the International Space Station for a joyride around the moon.

Why not just have the tag line: Steve Austin, because Jean Claude van Damme is to old.

WHAT THE FU-Seriously!? So...now I get to watch dancing douchebags with British Accents in eye bleedin' 3D. This is so daffied I'm even breaking into Cockney just to display my displeasure. Excuse me while I go get elephants.

Well, it has Sean Bean and torture so if that's your sorta thing then have at. Personally, I'd rather flog myself then watch this movie.

This trailer is a minute and a half to long. I can't remember there being an Undisputed I or II, and frankly I'm afraid to go Google them. I'd say save your money and watch UFC. The plot will definitely be better.

Excuse me, I have to go punch myself in the face until the pain goes away.

There's only one more movie. There's only one more movie and then it will all be over. Wait..they're turning the last one into a two part-er?

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